Wait, WHAT?! White House Confirms Military Options on Table to "Acquire" Greenland?!

WTF Just Happened

Okay, so apparently the White House just casually announced that the U.S. is considering a “range of options” to acquire Greenland. And no, your eyes are not deceiving you. These options apparently include using the military! Is this a geopolitical fever dream? Because I’m pretty sure I just woke up in one.

President Donald J. Trump has been repeating for days that the U.S. “needed” Greenland for security reasons. And now, the White House has officially declared acquiring it a “national security priority”. What in the actual hell?

Wait, HOW Did This Happen?

This whole situation didn't just appear out of nowhere, unfortunately. President Trump floated this insane ambition of making Greenland a U.S. hub during his 2024 election campaign. Remember that? We all laughed, right? But here we are.

Why Greenland, you ask? Because melting ice in the Arctic is opening up new trade routes, and suddenly Russia and China are super interested. So, naturally, the U.S. must own it all, apparently. A day after the U.S. military went into Venezuela to seize President Nicolás Maduro, Katie Miller, wife of a senior Trump aide, posted a map of Greenland in American flag colors with the word “SOON.” Her husband then confirmed this was the “formal position of the US government.”

And get this: Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth, when asked if the Pentagon had plans to take Greenland by force, said:

"Our job at the Defence Department is to have plans for any contingency."

Is that a terrifyingly vague confirmation or just standard military speak? I honestly can’t tell anymore!

Are We Serious Right Now?

ARE WE SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?! This is not a drill! Denmark, which Greenland is a semi-autonomous region of, is a fellow NATO member! Their Prime Minister, Mette Frederiksen, has already warned that any U.S. attack on Greenland would spell the “end of Nato.”

Let’s just unpack this absurdity:

• The U.S. is threatening a NATO ally with military force? Is this how alliances work now?
• Stephen Miller actually said, "Nobody's going to fight the US over the future of Greenland." Dude, six European allies literally just backed Denmark, calling for “respectful dialogue” and upholding international law. They are absolutely fighting you on this, maybe not with bullets yet, but with diplomacy, which is still a fight!
• A White House aide's spouse is posting